Gravity Falls is Irked
by ChaiDreamLatte
Summary: Zim knew about the folktales about Irkens making plans with un-planetary beings ending up with success and happiness with no backlash whatsoever. When Zim finds particular scans of a journal on the filthy alternate cyberspace that humans use, he finds out about a Bill Cipher, and wants to make such a deal with him to take over the planet. Time to go to Gravity Falls.


Gravity Falls is Irked

Chai Dream Latte

Once again Dipper had lost the Journal. It wasn't under his pillow as of usual, and Dipper really hoped that Mabel didn't use it as a doorstop again. It seemed like Mabel was the first person to ask, in the case that he could find his twin sister this time.

Who Dipper did find was Mabel's pig, Waddles. Dipper sighed and sat next to the pig, "I hope Mabel didn't get into anymore trouble."

Waddles just grunted his usual grunt. Mabel would have found that cute, but not so much for Dipper.

Dipper decided to go to the Mystery Shack's gift shop to see what the rest of the gang was up to. Grunkle Stan was giving another tour outside, and Wendy was manning the shop as she folded question mark shirts and organized them by size.

Dipper walked over to the shirt table, "hey, you know where Mabel is, in that case, where is Soos?"

"Oh, they went to the library to look through the internet to find clues for the author," Wendy noted as she scratched her red hair looked at the shirts in frustrations, "man, why can't people fold the shirts and when they put them back?" Of course, sporting her green plaid buttondown, Wendy wasn't the T-Shirt type. She was more fashionable than that, Dipper found it stunning on Wendy.

"Did they bring the journal at all?" Dipper asked. It was like Mabel to take things without asking, but it wasn't like her to be this proactive in finding the author of the journal.

That was when the door opened, Mabel had her usual braces smile and turquoise sweater with a yellow flower on it as she held up the journal, "there, got the entire journal on BoxDrop!"

Dipper had never heard of BoxDrop, but he would suppose it was a website. "It isn't public, is it?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know!" Mabel screamed out, "but Soos is going to post on the Mysterious Mysteries forums to ask about the journal!"

"Whew, we have time to tell him that he shouldn't post the scans," Dipper brushed the sweat off of his forehead from relief, "we need to keep the journal a secert."

Soos, a large bald man with a question mark T-shirt, straight from the Mystery Shack gift shop made a hesitating noise, "Er,I already did."

Dipper shivered, everyone was going to know the dark secrets of the journal. It was the internet after all, and anyone could see it, which would include dangerous people or creatures.

Speaking of dangerous people or creatures, Zim was on the rotten space of human internet called The Mysterious Mysteries Forum. Zim mostly used the forums to disprove Dib on all of his theories and call him a big headed dummy. Of course Dib doesn't know that it's him, but that's what makes it even more fun!

Zim looked at a post by a new member, "QuestionMark." He said that his buddy found this journal and wanted to know more information on it. Zim looked at the PDFs and they seem like stupid things from a stupid town called Gravity Falls. Zim was about to dismiss it when he saw an entry on a creature called, "Bill Cipher." It looked like he would offer deals to help people, like Zim! Of course in red ink it said, "do not Summon at All Cost." That looked like an invitation to summon him!

Zim printed out the pages for Bill, but Zim's little blue and white robot Gir promptly grabbed the page from the printer, then began to crumble it up, "aw, these aren't Bloaty coupons!"

The paper went out of Gir's hands as Zim grabbed the paper, "where is some chalk? We have a summoning to do!"

"Oh! I love a good summoning!" Gir began to cry out as he followed Zim, then he stopped, "what's a summoning?"

Zim grabbed some chalk from his desk, and entered a tube to the upper part of the house. They got out of the toilet, and Zim went to the living room. Zim copied the symbols on the page, and began to speak the words. Only for the summoning to not work. "Well, that journal is a bunch of bogus!" He then crumpled up the print out and threw it on the floor.

Gir frowned, "aw, I wanted to do that!"

Zim went into the trashcan, and back to his lair. He sat at his computer to post about how this journal was a joke, and he tried to use it for one of the summons.

There was an answer right away.

"Oh, did you mean Bill? He's already summoned. He's in Gravity Falls."

Dag nabbit! If Zim wants to make a deal with Bill and take over the world, he would have to go to that puny town of Gravity Falls! No issue, Zim has a spaceship! Zim was about to walk right on over to the spaceship, until he smelled something fishy, and it wasn't fish.

Zim heard pitter patter around the ceilings. For sure it wasn't fish, fish didn't walk on ceilings… he thought. Zim's backpack began to grow legs, and he got them to walk on the ceiling as well! Only to find a ninja climbing on the tubes!

"Ah! An intruder! How did you get past my gnomes?" Zim began to scream.

The ninja took off his mask to reveal that it was Zim's big headed rival, Dib. Dib put on his ginormous glasses and stuck his tongue out, "found out that journal was a fake, huh?"

"It wasn't a fake, the creature was already summoned," Zim scythed out his words, he didn't like talking to that puny human.

"Like you'd actually go to the middle of nowhere and actually check that it's true," Dib smirked.

Zim could tell Dib was being cocky, but Zim will show him, "then how about you come with me and see if I'm wrong?"

Dib took out his wristwatch and a hologram of a purple haired gothic child appeared that Zim knew was Dib's younger sister, "Gaz, I'm going to Gravity Falls."

Gaz didn't even look at Dib, "for how long?"

Dib shrugged.

Gaz then opened her eyes in rage, "I told Dad I would look after you! If he comes back and you got stabbed by a serial killer, I'm not going to hear the end of it!"

"I won't get stabbed by a serial killer!" Dib cried out, "please let me go!"

"I'm coming with you," Gaz finally gave up and let Dib go under that condition.

Yet Zim objected, "I'm not going to let your scary sister join us!"

Dib smirked, "but that's another person to prove that you're right!"

Gir began to bounce around on his head, "we're going on a road trip!"

The next day at Gravity Falls, Dipper was eating a donut from a box that Wendy placed in the kitchen. The donuts were plain, but they were really delicious. It was better than any donut Dipper had in California. Dipper was about to go to the shop, until her heard a chime by the door. Must have been tourists.

Yet these tourists were strange, one of them seemed to have a strange skin condition that made him have green skin and no ears. The other had a really big head and large glasses. The third had purple hair and dark clothing. Guess the third tourist was normal enough, but it was the other two that were really strange.

"Zim is here to find the one named, 'QuestionMark,'" the one with the skin condition announced, who was presumably named Zim. Dipper always had a bad feeling about people who talked in the third person. Gave him the creeps.

The only one tending the shop was Wendy, she cocked an eyebrow, "Um, I don't think 'QuestionMark,' is a name. We have a lot of question mark shirts if that's what you're looking for."

What kind of name was Question Mark? Dipper had to think about that. Was this a person who used to work at the Mystery Shack? It was obviously an alias of some kind. Was Grunkle Stan once named Question Mark? Stan may have been mysterious, but Question Mark seemed like too silly of a name for Stan. Yet there is sort of a question mark motif with The Mystery Shack, the store was stock full of T-shirts with question marks on them, not like any of the employees wore them. Then it hit Dipper: Soos wore a question mark T-shirt. It was Soos' day off, so Dipper may have to help these weird kids find Soos. "I may know where Soos is!"

Dipper stepped into the room as he looked at the three kids. They both looked around his age, which didn't seem unusual for friends of Soos; he hung around Mabel and himself after all. "I know where Soos is!"

"Who the heck is Soos?" the purple haired goth girl abruptly asked, "is that the serial killer from the internet that going to stab you, Dib?"

The large headed kid with glasses shook his head, "He's from the Mysterious Mysteries forum Gaz, there is no way he's a serial killer."

Wait, did these kids see the journal? They might know something, "well, QuestionMark is having his day off, but I've studied the journal with him. Is there anything that you know?"

Zim began to yell, "it is you that you knows things that we need!"

Oh, they have questions about the journal, "are you from Gravity Falls?"

The kid that Dipper presumed was Dib took a look at Dipper, "doesn't everyone know everyone in these towns? You would think that you would know us if we came from Gravity Falls."

That was a valid point. Especially with how strange these kids looked, "what would you like to know?"

Zim began to yell again, "Zim would like to know about the one named Bill!"

Bill? Who's Bill? Is he another guy from the internet? "I don't think I know a Bill."

Dib made a huge sigh of annoyance, "yet he studies the journal."

The journal? Wait, do they mean Bill Cipher? No one seems to call him "Bill" like a good old friend, "wait, you shouldn't be messing with him! All he ever does is screw you over! He took over my body once!"

"But I'm here to make a deal with him!" Zim noted maniacally "since I heard that Bill likes deals. You know the folk tales about how making deals with un-planetary beings will end up wonderfully with riches and happiness!"

Dipper cocked an eyebrow and began to stare at Zim, "where do you come from where these tales don't have a bad thing about such deals."

Dib opened his mouth, then he got smacked by Gaz; and Dib made an exasperated sigh.

"Well, lets go find Bill!" Zim called out as he ran out of the shop. When he left he yelled, "come on Gir!"

Dib looked at Dipper as they both nodded, as they simultaneously noted, "we need to stop him." Both Dipper and Dib ran out of the shop to find the ship gone. Guess Dipper had to be the hero again, with this other kid who seemed dorkily heroic like himself.

And Gaz was left alone with the shop attendant. Gaze just glared at the teenager, she was just too pretty. Her long red hair was too long and red, and her eyes, her eyes were too black and beady! She wasn't one of THOSE girls, she was too relaxed, but she was just too pretty.

"Did the guys ditch you again?" the teenager asked.

Gaz just glared at the young woman, "yes, and little do they know, they need me more than anyone!"

"Aw, that's how I feel when I hear about Dipper and Mabel's adventures," the teenager looked up dreamily, then she looked at Gaz, "I'm Wendy by the way, and I won't exclude you from anything."

Gaz took out her GameSlave 2 and began to play, "yeah, whatever."

That was when a little girl a tad older than Gaz showed up in a hot pink pig sweater, "who's up for Girl's Night?"

Wendy's face began to gleam as her eyes goes toward the girl in the pig sweater, "heck yeah I am!" Wendy pointed to Gaz, "Mable, this is Gaz, she might join us!"

Gaz's eyes also began to gleam, as she saw the pig on Mabel's sweater, then she closed her eyes again, "I see you like pigs."

"Like pigs?" Mabel exclaimed, "I love pigs! I even have a pet pig named Waddles! Want to meet him?"

Gaz had to play it cool. This was exciting her more than it should, but this is a living pig. Gaz looked back down at her GameSlave 2. "Yeah, whatever."

Mabel left the room, then came back carrying the said pig. The pig began to oink.

Did the pig just oinked Gaz's name? This was the best thing to ever happen to Gaz, but she still had to play it cool, she continued to play her game, "cute pig."

"Isn't he the best?" Mabel squealed, "too bad he won't be going with us to Hoo-Ha's."

"What's a Hoo-Ha's?" Gaz asked is grudge, "and why can't Waddles come with?"

"It's like a Bloaties, but more prevalent in these middle of nowhere towns, pets aren't allowed in the premise," Wendy explained.

"And honestly, Hoo-Ha has much better pizza than Bloaties," Mable exclaimed.

This caught Gaz's attention, better pizza than Bloaties? Sign her up! "When are we going?"

Dipper and Dib looked all over town looking for Zim. "Have you seen a kid with green skin?" They kept on asking. It began to lose meaning after a while.

Dipper and Dib began to rest by a tree. Dipper opened a Pitt Cola and offered it to Dib. Dib chugged it until he began to choke. Did he forget that this was a "Pitt" Cola?"

Dipper performed a heimlich maneuver and the pit flew onto the ground. They both took deep breaths from the distressing incident.

Then the pitt began to grow an eye. Oh boy, did they find the being Zim was looking for? Dib's reaction was not as relaxed. He began to scream in a high pitched squeal, which reminded Dipper of Waddles. The eye turned into a golden triangle with a top hat.

"So Zim was right! Why does Zim always have to be right?" Dib took slow deep breaths as he hid behind Dipper.

The triangle, who Dipper recognized as Bill Cipher, began to speak, "so you're looking for that weird Alien kid, aren't you?"

Before Dipper could speak, Dib did, "oh yes, have you seen him anywhere? We've been looking all over this puny little town!"

"I'll help you find him, he has something that I need."

"Dib, if Bill helped us find Zim, then Zim would find Bill and will be screwed over," Dipper mumbled at Dib.

It seemed like Dib heard 0% of that, who can decipher mumbling anyway? Dib began to speak up, "Oh yes, do you know where he is?"

"If you make a deal with me, I'll get you to him. I just need something of yours." Bill took out his hand for a shake, and Dib took that shake!

"Dib, no!" Dipper began to yell out.

Bill entered into Dib's body and his eye turned yellow. "Ah, yes, a human body… why does my head feel big?"

A spaceship began to fly above them, and who Dipper presumed was Bill in Dib's body took out his thumb. The ship landed, and Zim and a green dog got out of the ship, "I guess you might be right for once, Dib! That journal is pure garbage!"

"Oh, no," said Dib, "This is Bill, I'm just" Dill began to to clear his throat, "borrowing, Dib body for a while. I know you have something that you want from me."

"Well, I may have to disclose," Zim took out his contact lenses, "That I'm an Irken!"

Dill began to roll his eyes and clapped sarcastically, "wow, what a surprise. I suppose the Tallest assigned you to take over this primitive place? I'm surprised that they would want a ball of dirt like this one. What did you have to do to deserve to take over a planet like this?"

"I was given this planet as a secret mission! This planet is so special, that no one dares to speak it's name."

"You mean Earth?" Dipper asked. This was really too stupid. Dipper was sure that Zim could never take over this planet on his own. Dipper kind of knew that aliens existed, but he didn't expect them to be so stupid.

"Well, there's no way you can take over this planet on your own," Dill spoke freely, "but I am more than able to take over this planet."

Shoot, shoot, shoot, Bill is really going to help this idiot take over the planet? For sure, this will be Bill ruling the planet, not Zim's alien race.

"But it's not part of my plans," Dill announced, "Now where is your dog?"

The green dog began to wave his hand around, "hiiiiiii!"

"I know you wish to go to Hoo-Ha's Jamboree, but Zim wouldn't let you!" Dill smiled, "I'll let you go, if you do something for me!"

"Gir, say that you want to take over the world instead," Zim strictly said to his apparently talking dog, "he won't do it for me."

But Gir began to cry, "but I want Hoo-Ha's!"

"Then let's go!" Dill announced.

Holy smokes, this pizza was better Bloaties! It had really soft and succulent dough, melt in your mouth cheese, giant and meaty pepperoni, and it was the right amount of grease. Gaz was in pizza heaven!

"They have a new Dancy Pants Revolution game, want to play?" Mabel asked as she dumped out a bunch of quarters from her sweater sleeve.

"Sure," said Wendy as she stood up, "I need to get back to my dancing vibe!"

Gaz got up and followed the two girls. Sure, one was way too pretty without trying, and the other was weird; but they both weren't too bad!

Gaz saw Gir and her brother dancing it out on Hard Mode. Strange, Dib was never good at these rhythm games. Let alone actually do a good job at Hard Mode.

Gir wasn't doing a bad job either. He was breakdancing as he actually hit the arrows on the screen. They were dancing like masters until the song about Grey Swans ended.

The game racked up the points. "Good Job Player One, AAA!" the machine congratulated Gir.

Gir began to cheer with a loud scream as he continuously did backflips. Gir really needs to lay off those Frappelattes.

Then the machine spoke again, "Amazing job player two, AAAA! Best score ever!"

Then that series of cheers and flips turned into tears and sulking, "Nooooo! Why did you have to defeat me?"

"It's what I do," said Dib, Gaz began to notice Dib's yellow eyes, he was possessed... again, "I make deals in order to get what I want! And I wanted to defeat the Master of Dancy Pants Revolution!"

That was when Gaz punched Dib in the face, "I don't know what you did to my brother, but you are not him!"

Dib just made a grim smile, "did you seriously think I was your brother?"

Gaz gave Dib another punch in the face, "my brother is not that good at Dancy Pants Revolution."

"Oh, the slave of games has really has it figured out!"

"You're also too insane to be my brother as well! Dib is only moderately insane." Gaz cried out as she repeatedly punched Dib.

An employee of Hoo Ha's approached the group, she was wearing a polo shirt and a side ponytail. She slouches and cringed as she told Gaz, "miss, I will have to ask you to leave."

Gaz made a gigantic stare at the lady and she growled, "I will not leave until whoever is inside my brother will leave!"

The employee calmed down as she made a sigh, "Oh, did one of the characters leave the game machine again?" This seems like a common occurrence.

"I don't know, but he is not my brother," Gaz screamed louder than Zim ever would. She looked at Mabel and Wendy who stared at Gaz relentlessly, do they think that Gaz is some kind of monster?

Suddenly, Dib woke up from Gaz's beating, he looked weak, but he had spoken, "do people often see weird stuff in this town?" He had a jealous look to him, which made Gaz know that Dib was back.

Dipper rolled his eyes, "like all of the time. Ever since we took out the The Society of the Blind eye, everyone seems to know what's up."

"Lucky," Dib huffed his word until he fainted from the physical pain.

The evil triangle appeared, "well, I got what I wanted, I will say goodbye now and have my Dancy Pants Revolution Master bragging rights now! This day rocked!" Bill disappeared out of a puff of smoke.

Zim made a scowl as he ran over to the puff of smoke with fill disappointment, "wait! You didn't help me take over this stupid planet!"

Gaz walked over to the girls who looked terrified from what Gaz did, "I'm sorry. My brother gets in trouble sometimes."

Wendy embraced Gaz gave her a noogie on the head, "we all have stupid brothers. Isn't that right Mabel?"

"Right-o!" Mabel yelled out, "now how about we play in the ball pit!"

That… didn't excite Gaz at all, "I'll sit that one out, I need more pizza before we leave."

When the Membrane siblings and the Irkens got home, an email came to Dib's phone. Dib took a look to see that it was from Dipper with an attachment.

 _We deleted the forum posts from the journal so we won't get into anymore trouble. Soos and I decided to send you the attachments just in case you knew anyone who would know anything about the journal._

 _Thanks and good luck,_

 _Dipper Pines_

Dib placed the phone back into his pocket, these were attachments that he wouldn't show to Zim. Yet there were people that Dib may have known that would be helpful.


End file.
